Describe the different components of emotion.

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Most couples have trouble expressing their softer primary emotions when they come in for couples therapy.  We know that’s where we’ve got to go… but how do we get there?

One of the things I love about the EFT model is how it guides us to create safety for the deeper softer emotions to step out from hiding.  We do this by helping the client organize and experience their emotional selves.  EFT teaches us that the emotions we experience are not limited to how we feel.  The wholesome picture of emotions includes a combination of cognition, bodily experience, limbic/pre-conscious experience, and even action.

Let’s take a closer look at these four parts of emotion.

As an action or comment by the partner is seen or heard, there is a preconscious question that is asked by the back of the brain, in the amygdala, “Is this dangerous?”  If the answer is yes, our automatic response is to protect ourselves by going into an alert state.  This alert state sends a message to the body and front of the brain, “We are entering a danger zone.  Alert!”  Through soft and reflective empathy, we help the client become aware of their assessment of distress.

The body responds to this alert danger message, usually in the stomach, chest, or throat.  Clients often sense a tight, heavy, or painful feeling in their core area.  This is the body responding to the danger signal.  We encourage the client to explore whether they have any physical reaction in moments of relationship distress and in response to this danger signal.

At the same time as the danger assessment is spreading to the body, it’s also triggering other parts of the brain.  The prefrontal cortext is racing to understand the meaning behind this cue.  What does this say about my partner and our bond?  “What just happened? Is s/he angry at me?  Is s/he leaving me?  What does this say about me and the relationship?  Am I a disappointment, getting it wrong again?  Am I losing your love, attention, affection, or acceptance?  We gently support the client in exploring their interpretations of their partner’s moves.

And in response to the cue, we are driven to take action.  The effort to cope with the danger cue is usually a hyper form of fight or flight, freeze response.  In fight form, it may look like yelling, criticizing, or other expressions of anger.  In flight form, we retreat, intellectualize or otherwise avoid. The freeze response may look like emotional shut down, numbing out, going silent.  We help the partner understand and validate their emotional process as an automatic effort to deal with overwhelming emotions.

Putting these pieces together, it may sound something like this, “When you see your partner upset (the cue), you feel you’re entering the danger zone (back of the brain danger assessment).  You begin to feel a tightness in your chest (bodily response), and you start wondering if you can ever make her happy (meaning).  You go into your shell and try to hide at that moment (action response).”  As we help a client organize their experience, they feel safer within themselves.  As the different components of emotion are organized for the client and validated, the emotional experience expands for the client.  As partners feel more understood we naturally build the scaffolding needed to access the underlying, vulnerable emotions such as sadness, fear and shame hiding underneath their reactivity, and they begin to be experienced consciously, normalized, and accepted by themselves and their partner.

Learning EFT gives us a deeper understanding of the world of emotions for our clients and ourselves.  Through that understanding, a wholesome experience of emotion comes to light.  We are able to organize and expand the emotional world of our clients, giving them an opportunity to experience themselves and their relationship through a new lens of soft tender longings for connection.

Joshua Marder, LMFT is a certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor in Training.  He is a member of the CCEFT Board and runs the monthly peer consultation group in the North Shore.  He offers 1-Day Hold Me Tight Retreats in the Chicago area with 6 CEs for therapists.  If you’re interested in joining the peer group or attending one of his Hold Me Tight workshops, contact Josh at [email protected].  

Human beings are endorsed by motives, and as rational beings, to certain extent we go about satisfying them in an intelligent way.

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But our life does not end with this, we are also emotional beings. Indeed most of our affairs of everyday life are tingled with feelings and emotions. Our finest achievements, miserable failures, our noble characters and ugly behaviours are all directed by emotions.

We feel excited when we pass our examination and jump out of joy. We shout when we get angry, we feel sorry at the death of our loved one.

We tremble when we are afraid. Joy, sorrow, fear, sympathy, empathy, love and affection are all emotions which influence our life and behaviour. Life would be dreary without emotions and feelings.

They add colour and spice to living. Proper control and expression of our emotions make our living pleasant, lack of control and improper expression leads to misery.

Definition:

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The term emotion is derived from the Latin verb ‘movere’ means stir up, agitate, disturb or move. Woodworth has defined emotion as “conscious stirred up state of the organism”.

Components of Emotions:

There are three components of emotions.

a. Cognition:

This component serves primarily to influence an evaluation of given situation, prompting us to become emotional in one way or another, or not at all.

b. Feeling:

In daily life we think of feelings. The feelings are most readily evident changes in an aroused person. Feelings have immediate motivational significance.

They give rise to many physiological processes in the cardiovascular system and produce increased blood pressure, changes in sexual urge. They also stimulate nervous system and prompt widespread electrochemical activities.

c. Behaviour:

The behavioural component involves facial, postural, gestures and vocal responses.

Changes during Emotions:

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Changes during emotions are divided into external and internal changes.

External changes:

There are many external or observable changes during emotion.

a. The voice changes according to the type of emotion. Experiments have proved that emotions can be identified on the basis of voice.

b. Facial expressions change. We can identify emotion experienced by a person by looking at his face.

c. There will be changes in the body language like stiffness of muscles, twisting of fingers, movements of hands and legs.

d. Sweating.

e. Wrinkles on forehead.

f. Redness of eyes.

g. Erection of hairs on the skin, etc.

Internal changes:

Many internal changes take place during emotions. These internal changes are the result of stimulation of

The ANS has 2 subdivisions. Sympathetic division prepares the body for facing emergency either by fight or by flight, i.e. fights if possible, otherwise escapes from the situation. It stimulates the adrenal glands and causes the excess release of adrenaline and nor-adrenaline. Adrenaline gets circulated all over the body and stimulates vital organs leading to following internal changes.

a. Increase in heart rate thereby increase in BP

b. Increase in rate of respiration

c. Increase in blood sugar level

d. Decrease in functioning of GI tract-that is why we do not experience the feeling of hunger during emotional states

e. Changes in frequency of brain waves

f. Dilatation of pupils

g. Decreased secretion of saliva and dryness of mouth.

After the emergency or emotional situation is over, the next step is to restore the energy spent during emotion. This work is carried on by parasympathetic division.

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