What are some of the biggest challenges faced by adults in middle adulthood?

Childhood, adolescence, even the "twilight years" have been studied extensively, but the wide terrain known as midlife – one of the longest stages – remains largely uncharted. How well are Americans functioning at midlife? Why do some experience better health and greater well-being than others?

Middle adulthood, or midlife, refers to the period of the lifespan between early adulthood and late adulthood. Although ages and tasks are culturally defined, the most common age definition is from 40-45 to 60-65. This may be the least studied time of the lifespan currently, and research on this developmental period is relatively new as many aspects of midlife are still being explored. We do know that this stage reflects both developmental gains and losses and that there are considerable individual differences, but there is still much to learn about this period in the lifespan. Note that this stage could be viewed as lasting 25 years (40-65) - and consider how many stages we have already considered. As average life expectancy at birth in the United States as of 2018 is about 80 (78.7, per CDC), we can expect late adulthood to last at least 15 years (65-80). And given that as of 2020 the maximum human life span has been documented to be 122, late adulthood is our longest life stage - lasting close to 60 years for some.

Developmental Tasks of Middle Adulthood

Midlife brings an increase in coping strategies. Margie Lachman, Ph.D, is a leader in the field of middle adulthood and aging and provides a comprehensive overview of the rewards and challenges those in middle adulthood may experience. These include:

1. Launching children into their own lives.
2. Adjusting to home-life without children (often referred to as the empty nest).
3. Dealing with adult children who return to live at home (known as boomerang children in the United States).
4. Losing parents/caregivers and experiencing associates grief.
5. Becoming grandparents.
6. Preparing for late adulthood.
7. Acting as caregivers for aging parents/caregivers or spouses.

Midlife Relationships

The Sandwich Generation

The sandwich generation refers to adults who have at least one parent/caregiver age 65 or older and are either raising their own children or providing support for their grown children. According to a 2013 Pew Research survey, 47% of middle-aged adults are part of this sandwich generation (Parker & Patten, 2013). In addition, 15% of middle-aged adults are providing financial support to an older parent while raising or supporting their own children. According to the same survey, almost half (48%) of middle-aged adults, have supported their adult children in the past year, and 27% are the primary source of support for their grown children.

The Pew survey found that almost 1 in 3 of the sandwich-generation adults were more likely to say they always feel rushed, while only 23% of other adults said this. However, the survey suggests that those who were supporting both parents and children reported being just as happy as those middle-aged adults who did not find themselves in the sandwich generation (Parker & Patten, 2013). Adults who are supporting both parents/caregivers and children did report greater financial strain. Only 28% reported that they were living comfortably versus 41% of those who were not also supporting their parents/caregivers. Almost 1/3 were just making ends meet, compared with 17% of those who did not have the additional financial burden of aging parents.

Kinkeeping

At midlife adults may find themselves as a kinkeeper. In all families there is a person or persons who keep the family connected and who promote solidarity and continuity in the family (Brown & DeRycke, 2010). Who in your own family do you count on to organize family gatherings? Who knows the history of your family? Who do people turn to in your family for advice and support? Who works to strengthen the bonds between members of your family? These are your family’s kinkeepers, and they are usually women (Leach & Braithwaite, 1996; Brown & DeRycke, 2010). Leach and Braithwaite found that 86% of their respondents named a woman as their family’s kinkeeper, and Brown and DeRycke found that mothers, maternal grandmothers, and paternal grandmothers were more likely to be a family’s kinkeeper than were fathers, young adult children, and grandfathers combined. Brown and DeRycke also found that among young adults, women were more likely to be a kinkeeper than were young adult men.

Kinkeeping can be a source of distress when it interferes with other obligations (Gerstel & Gallagher, 1993). Gerstel and Gallagher found that on average, kinkeepers provide almost a full week of work each month to kinkeeping (almost 34 hours). They also found that the more activities the kinkeeper took on, and the more kin they helped the more stress and higher the levels of depression a kinkeeper experienced. However, unlike other studies on kinkeeping, Gerstel and Gallagher also included a number of activities that would be considered more “caregiving,” such as providing transportation, making repairs, providing meals, etc. in addition to the usual activities of kinkeeping.

The Empty Nest

The empty nest, or post-parental period (Dennerstein, Dudley & Guthrie, 2002), refers to the time period when children are grown up and have left home. For most parents this occurs during midlife. This time is recognized as a “normative event” as parents are aware that their children will become adults and eventually leave home (Mitchell & Lovegreen, 2009). The empty nest creates complex emotions, both positive and negative, for many parents. Some theorists suggest this is a time of role loss for parents, others suggest it is one of role strain relief (Bouchard, 2013).

The role loss hypothesis predicts that when people lose an important role in their life they experience a decrease in emotional well-being. It is from this perspective that the concept of the empty nest syndrome emerged, which refers to great emotional distress experienced by parents, typically mothers, after children have left home. The empty nest syndrome is linked to the absence of alternative roles for the parent in which they could establish their identity (Borland, 1982). In Bouchard’s (2013) review of the research, she found that few parents reported loneliness or a big sense of loss once all their children had left home.

In contrast, the role stress relief hypothesis suggests that the empty nest period should lead to more positive changes for parents, as the responsibility of raising children has been lifted. The role strain relief hypothesis was supported by many studies in Bouchard’s (2013) review. A consistent finding throughout the research literature is that raising children has a negative impact on the quality of martial relationships (Ahlborg, Misvaer, & Möller, 2009; Bouchard, 2013). Several studies have reported that martial satisfaction often increases during the launching phase of the empty nest period, and that this satisfaction endures long after the last child has left home (Gorchoff, John, & Helson, 2008).

However, most of the research on the post-parental period has been with American parents. A number of studies in China suggest that empty-nesters, especially in more rural areas of China, report greater loneliness and depression than their counterparts with children still at home (Wu et al., 2010). Family support for the elderly by their children is a cherished Chinese tradition (Wong & Leung, 2012). With children moving from the rural communities to the larger cities for education and employment this may explain the more pessimistic reaction of Chinese parents than in American samples. The loss of an adult child in a rural region may mean a loss of family income for aging parents. Empty-nesters in urban regions of China did not report the same degree of distress (Su et al., 2012), suggesting that it not so much the event of children leaving, but the additional hardships this may place on aging parents.

Boomerang Kids

Today, young adults are living with their parents for a longer duration and in greater numbers than previous generations. In addition to those in early adulthood who are not leaving the home of their parents, there are also young adults who are returning after having lived independently outside the home, and these are called boomerang kids. Many of the same financial reasons that are influencing young people’s decisions to delay exit from the home of their parents are underlying their decisions to return home. In addition, to financial reasons, some boomerang kids are returning because of emotional distress, such as mental health issues (Sandberg-Thoma, Snyder, & Jang, 2015).

What is the effect on parents when their adult children return home? Certainly there is considerable research that shows that the stress of raising children can have a negative impact on parents’ well-being, and that when children leave home many couples experience less stress and greater life satisfaction (see the section on the empty nest). Early research in the 1980s and 1990s supported the notion that boomerang children, along with those who were failing to exit the home, placed greater financial hardship on the parents, and the parents reported more negative perceptions of this living arrangement (Aquilino, 1991). Recent surveys suggest that today’s parents are more tolerant of this, perhaps because this is becoming a more normative experience than in the past. Moreover, children who return are more likely to have had good relationships with their parents growing up, so there may be less stress between parents and their adult children who return (Sandberg-Thoma et al., 2015). Parents of young adults who have moved back home because of economic reasons report that they are just as satisfied with their life as are parents whose adult children are still living independently (Parker, 2012). Parker found that adult children age 25 and older are more likely to contribute financially to the family or complete chores and other household duties. Parker also found that living in a multigenerational household may be acting as an economic safety net for young adults. In comparison to young adults who were living outside of the home, those living with their parents were less likely to be living in poverty (17% versus 10%).

In 2020, we see an even great rate of young adults living at home. As reported by the Pew Research Center: 

The coronavirus outbreak has pushed millions of Americans, especially young adults, to move in with family members. The share of 18- to 29-year-olds living with their parents has become a majority since U.S. coronavirus cases began spreading early this year, surpassing the previous peak during the Great Depression era. In July, 52% of young adults resided with one or both of their parents, up from 47% in February, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of monthly Census Bureau data. The number living with parents grew to 26.6 million, an increase of 2.6 million from February. The number and share of young adults living with their parents grew across the board for all major racial and ethnic groups, men and women, and metropolitan and rural residents, as well as in all four main census regions. Growth was sharpest for the youngest adults (ages 18 to 24) and for White young adults.

So far we have considered the impact that adult children who have returned home or have yet to leave the nest have on the lives of middle-aged parents. What about the effect on parents who have adult children dealing with personal problems, such as alcoholism, chronic health concerns, mental health issues, trouble with the law, poor social relationships, or academic or job related problems, even if they are not living at home? The life course perspective proposes the idea of linked lives (Greenfield & Marks, 2006). The notion that people in important relationships, such as children and parents, mutually influence each other’s developmental pathways. In previous chapters you have read about the effects that parents have on their children’s development, but this relationship is bidirectional. The problems faced by children, even when those children are adults, influence the lives of their parents. Greenfield and Marks found in their study of middle-aged parents and their adult children, those parents whose children were dealing with personal problems reported more negative affect, lower self-acceptance, poorer parent-child interactions, and more family relationship stress. The more problems the adult children were facing, the worse the lives and emotional health of their parents, with single parents faring the worst.

Erikson: Generativity vs Stagnation

According to Erikson, midlife adults face the crisis of generativity vs. stagnation. This involves looking at one’s life while asking the question, “Am I doing anything worthwhile? Is anyone going to know that I was here? What am I contributing to others?” If not, a feeling of being stuck or stagnated may result. This discomfort can motivate a person to redirect energies into more meaningful activities. It is important to make revisions here so that in later life, one may feel a sense of pride and accomplishment and feel at peace with their life and the choices that have been made.

Generativity encompasses mentoring, productivity, and creativity. By generativity, Erikson meant that we do best at this stage if we can focus energies on generating something we deem worthwhile that benefits someone else, society or even the world. Generativity is about creating something that lives on after we are gone. Having established a stable identity and relationships in previous stages, by middle adulthood we are more involved in larger matters as parents/caregivers, mentors, leaders and creators. Additionally, one of the implications here might be that if we regret something we didn’t do or become when we were younger, there may be a way to recast those early dreams into something feasible and meaningful in the present (Adams, K. B., 2012). Erikson believed that the stage of generativity, during which one often established a family or a group of close friends and also a career or passion, was the longest of all the stages. Individuals at midlife are primarily concerned with leaving a positive legacy of some sort. Erikson understood that work and family relationships (or close friends) may be in conflict due to the obligations and responsibilities of each, but he believed it was overall a positive developmental time. In addition to being parents/caregivers and working, Erikson also described individuals being involved in the community during this stage. Conversely, a sense of stagnation may occur when one feels stuck, dissatisfied with their overall life or isolated with no intention of moving through it, psychologically or tangibly, as their own body/mind permits. Those in stagnation may carry unresolved regrets they can't seem to find peace with or some resolution of choices made. They are not active in generative matters. However, stagnation can also motive a person to redirect energies into more meaningful activities. Do you know anyone stuck in stagnation? What are some ways they may be able to move toward generativity?

Kotre (1984) described 4 types of generativity, each motivated by the desire to outlive the self.

• Biological - achieved by having children
• Parental - achieved by raising your own children - or the children of others - and passing down family traditions
• Technical (work) - the teaching of skills
• Cultural - passing on the traditions of one's culture

Generativity Traits

Highly Generative Adults tend to have these qualities:

• Lower in anxiety, depression.
• High in autonomy, self-acceptance, life satisfaction.
• They appear especially well-adjusted.
• They are more open to differing viewpoints; possess leadership qualities; desire more from work than financial rewards; and care greatly about the welfare of their family, close friends and the wider society

References

Fry, R., Passel, J. S. P., & Cohn, D. (2020, September 4). A majority of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents for the first time since the Great Depression. Pew Research Center. https://pewrsr.ch/351SVs1

Manheimer, R. J. (1995). Redeeming the aging self: John Kotre, George Drury, and cultural generativity. Journal of Aging Studies, 9(1), 13–20. https://doi.org/10.1016/0890-4065(95)90022-5

Rubinstein, R. L., Girling, L. M., de Medeiros, K., Brazda, M., & Hannum, S. (2015). Extending the Framework of Generativity Theory Through Research: A Qualitative Study. The Gerontologist, 55(4), 548–559. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnu009

Wilhelm P. Jeanne Calment: Validation of the Duration of Her Life. Validation of Exceptional Longevity. Odense University Press. ISBN 87-7838-466-4

This page titled 9.2: Psychosocial Development in Middle Adulthood is shared under a CC BY-NC-SA license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Martha Lally & Suzanne Valentine-French.

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